It's been a while since I've been on here, so I thought I would update. I also thought that using a journal would be a good way to track the progress I'm hoping to make in my lifestyle.
     For those who don't know, I became a mommy to the most precious little girl on May 3,2009. Her name is Clara and she is absolutely adorable. The story of her birth is quite interesting, and I'll work on typing that up soon too. Right now I'm just really busy trying to enroll in a new school while completing a 10+ page term paper in the next 6 days (that I've yet to start) while also doing other homework (Not to mention keeping the house clean and caring for a 2 and a half month old). Needless to say, I've been busy.
     However, during my pregnancy I gained a whopping 66 pounds! While I lost 30 shortly after I gave birth, and I'm breastfeeding, so there's around 5-10 pounds in breast weight, I'm just not happy with this body. Frankly, I didn't like it before I was pregnant. Therefore, I'm taking measures to change it. I started Jillian Michaels' 30 Day Shred on Friday and I'm feeling great. Saturday I hurt a ton so I decided not to do it that day, but continued with it yesterday with Donald. I can already feel the muscle building in my legs and for once in my life, can tell that my thighs are getting more tone, instead of flabby. I've also set a lot of other goals to help accomplish the weight loss I'd like. While it is suggested that to lost weight a woman needs to consume between 1200 and 1500 calories, as a breastfeeding mother, I need to consume at least 1800 (about 500 of that is burned during feeding). 1800 it is! I've also set the following goals.

*No soda
*No alcohol
*No added salt
*No food after 8pm
*Drink one full glass of water before every meal
* Jillian Michaels 5 days a week
* No eating in front of the tv

I'm hoping that these will prove to benefit my life. I'll try to keep up to date on weight loss! Yay

34 lbs from pre-pregnancy weight! 

It's a girl!

I'm 19 weeks pregnant, only about 21 left. (My breasts are actually quite big, if that's any indication of how much I've grown.

When the sun comes to greet me tomorrow
I will be no less glum that I am today
Nor will my smile be any more vibrant
And a mere night's sleep will in no way
Erase the plaque upon my mind
Or replace the decay on my soul
In fact, when I meet another day
I will be one day closer to my very last
And the face peering back at me will be older, too
But still I sleep countless hours
And waste away time well appreciated
Because after my head falls against the pillow
And my eyes are long shut.
It is then that I am closest to you.

Tummy picture later.

So this morning about 8:45-ish, my roommate left to take a test that will last approximately 5 hours. About 20 minutes after she left, I'm laying in bed trying to sleep and I hear a key enter the door and then someone jiggling the knob. Thinking it was my roommate coming back for something, I waited to see if she could get the door unlocked and when it finally sounded like she had given up all hope....more jiggling.This time it was little more desperate.

I then jumped out of bed, looked through the peep hole, but seeing as how it was dark in the hallway, I couldn't see anything. When I opened the door the person on the other side didn't even bother looking up but bent over to grab their lap top bag and when he was standing straight up and ready to enter the room i said "What the hell?" 

To this, his eyes opened twice the size and he simply laughed and said "What? Am I on the wrong floor?"

Yes, buddy, you were. And you woke me up because of it. Thanks a f**king lot! 

So I filled out my absentee ballot today. I'm pretty excited since it's my first time ever voting. WoOo! 
There's really not a terrible amount of news in my life. My roommate is pretty sick with allergies, but school is going pretty well.
I had a doctors appointment with the OBGYN Friday and he determined my due date as May 3, 2009. A day before Donald's birthday, not a day after like I had calculated. Either way...May is going to be good. I'll get to celebrate Mother's day and butthead can celebrate fathers day.
I don't know...life is kind of great, besides the whole sick and in pain thing.

Eh. Oh well.

So, it's a baby... officially. Yay for us :-)
I'm pretty lethargic right now...Spending most of my time in bed.
I've got nothing to say. Such is my life.

I'M GOING TO BE A FREAKING MOMMY! :-)

So, the climax of my week....
Today I ate food. Real food. Tons of it. Not like the past 5 or so days when I've merely gotten to look at it and gag inside myself. And even though I couldn't eat for a few days...it doesn't seem I've lost any weight at all :-(. I know I shouldn't be so worried about it, considering I'm about to start showing the signs of a growing baby and the weight will come with it...but I just thought it would be less dramatic if I lost a little weight first. Oh well... as long as I get a healthy baby I can work on a healthy me later, right? 
I took my first test of the semester today. I've had headaches for the past 3 days too and concentrating hadn't been easy... so I didn't study for the test. I did okay.. I got an 80%... the high in the class was a 92% so i'm not sweating it too bad.


Anyway...I have my first doctor's appointment tomorrow. I get to find out if the pee stick was correct and whether or not my ego is prego. :-p

People are irritating sometimes.

Is there a good reason that I should go to a house where people are drunk and having fun? Not now. 
Sure, it'd be nice to hang out with my friends and have fun, and it may be okay if I didn't like to drink so much...but I do. So me, pregnant, at a party, isn't a good idea. I wouldn't have a bit of fun.

Blah !! 

so...first day of complete morning sickness.
Yes,  I said day...because it has lasted all day and I'm ready to vomit a baby at this point.

 

My mom called to tell me that I don't think things through...she wants me to stay in Missouri until after the baby is born. I don't think that would really be fair to Donald (my boyfriend) . She thinks it will be unsafe to switch doctors in the middle of a pregnancy. I'm pretty sure that doctors in Washington/Oregon are probably going to be more qualified than the shit for brain doctors that occupy the hospital in my home town.

It's just frustrating. I know she cares about me and all...she just doesn't want to believe that I'm a big girl and can do things on my own. I realize that things are going to be hard.. I realize that I might have a tough time and funds are going to be short. We didn't plan this... but there's nothing Donald or I would do to change it at this point.

I don't know what I'm supposed to do. I'm gonna miss my mommy like hell when I leave, but it'll only be that way because she's raised me to believe I need her for everything...and I hate that. I love her...and I WILL miss her...but it's time for me to grow up and try to do some things on my own.

I'm ready.

So, like most expecting mother (assuming that's what I really am -I find out Friday-) I've decided to start capturing my growth, little by little. Obviously at this point I'm still at my normal (still quite big) body type... so I'm posting a picture of me, "five weeks pregnant" 

 

Lazy days are my favorite! I've done little to nothing today, and I'm not bothered one bit. Well, actually I keep freaking out about the homework I need to do, the jobs I need to apply to, and transferring to a school in Oregon but all in all....I'm enjoying the nothing that I'm busy at.

I can say, though, that the application process for some schools is just baffling. For one school, you can only apply at the beginning of the year. For another, there are four terms to apply for (they follow the four seasons, people) and I just wonder if I apply for the winter term(which is due by oct.1) if I'd even be in Oregon at the time. On the other hand, the application for the Spring term isn't due until February 1st...which would allow me some time to get a job, etc...and wouldn't put me out of school so long that I'd have to start paying my loans back. Eh...we'll see what happens.

I have to say...typing this was the most strenuous thing I've done all day.

Lets pout about it. :-)

AND I LOVE MORGAN! 

Let's have some juice with cute boys! 

and Troy.

Today I feel a little lonely. Not because there's no one around me. I have great friends and there's always someone to talk to. But today... I miss him. My wonderful, cute, witty, hilarious boyfriend...who happens to be 2000 miles away. I spent the summer with him in Seattle and it was pretty much amazing. Living in an apartment with no guidance for the first time in my life, working a job that paid real money...it was good. I can't flippin' wait to get back to that in January...and depending on how this pregnancy thing goes...in the spring we'll have a little extra company.

I'm so excited for the things that soon will be that I'm sad thinking about how much I want them right now. Fuck, I'm greedy.

So, I know that I've been away alot...and I intend to change that, as a lot of things have changed in my life.

I'll start off with saying that in January, I'm moving to Oregon with my boyfriend. Super excited! We had an absolutely wonderful summer together and I can't wait to see him again!!